


Raising the...Bat. (or: Holy Crack-Fic, Batman!)

by Northern_Star



Category: Batman (1966), Hockey RPF
Genre: Crack, Crossover, M/M, porn star au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-27
Updated: 2011-03-27
Packaged: 2017-10-23 14:37:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/251433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Star/pseuds/Northern_Star
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric Staal is Batman. Skinner is his faithful Robin. Together, they fight crime!</p><p>...well, sort of.  ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raising the...Bat. (or: Holy Crack-Fic, Batman!)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [antumbral](https://archiveofourown.org/users/antumbral/gifts).



> Notes: This is actually an AU in an AU - I hope you'll get a kick out of it. :)  
> Also: the dialog gets seriously corny at times, but hey...this is based on the 60s Batman TV show. lol!

"Batman and Robin," said Catwoman, grinning as she looked upon the Dynamic Duo whom she had just bound to a lamppost with her whip. "All tied up in one sweet package!" She threw her head back and laughed.

"All right, you've had your laugh, Catwoman!" Batman snapped. "Now what do you intend to do with us?"

"Do?" she asked, batting her eyelashes innocently. "Why, I'm not going to do _anything_ , Batman. I'm just going to leave you here while I--" she laughed again "--while I go off and catch a certain little bird and the precious rock he carries."

"The Tiffany Yellow Diamond!" gasped Robin. "Batman, you were right!"

"You feline devil!" shot Batman.

"Catwoman, you are _not_ a nice person!" Robin added in disgust.

The only response they got from her were the sounds of her laughter echoing in the night as she strutted away.

Groaning in displeasure, Batman shifted against his restraints. "Don't worry, Robin," he told his companion. "I just need to reach into my utility belt and--" Batman shifted again, his voice strained from the effort of trying to contort his body so he could reach into the proper compartment of his belt.

"Gee, Batman, but could you be a little careful?" Robin asked in a sigh. "Every time you move, your utility belt digs deeper into my butt, and..."

Batman went completely still.

After a moment that seemed to stretch infinitely, Robin finally angled his neck to catch a glimpse of his partner. "Batman?" he asked a little nervously.

"That's not--" Batman cleared his throat. "It's not my utility belt," he finally confessed.

"Oh?" said Robin, surprised. "But if it's not--?" There was a pause and then suddenly, "Oh. _Oh!_ "

"I apologize if--"

"It's all right, Batman," Robin immediately replied, his tone light and cheerful. "Stressful situations do that to me as well sometimes. I understand."

"It's not the situation," Batman told him after a moment's reflection. His voice had lost all its usual assurance.

"It isn't?"

"No."

"Oh, well, in that case," said Robin, rotating his hips to force even more contact between his ass and what he now knew was just an inch _below_ Batman's belt.

The Dark Knight straightened again, then in as cool a voice as he could muster said, "Now's not the time, Robin! We need to get out of these bonds and catch Catwoman. And then-- then we can... _discuss_ the situation."

"Fine, fine," Robin replied, deflated. "Let me try and get the Batknife from your utility belt."

Twisting and contorting his body in ways only a trained acrobat could, Robin reached into one of the compartments of Batman's utility belt, but not without having taken every opportunity to brush his hands, and his ass, against the growing bulge in Batman's purple briefs, ignoring all of his protests as he went. From the utility belt, Robin pulled out the Batknife with which he cut through Catwoman's whip, freeing them of its hold.

"There," he announced without much conviction as he handed the Batknife back to Batman. "But... Batman?" he asked hesitantly, though his tone gained assurance as he went on, "Surely you're not going to run around town like this, are you? Why, if Commissionner Gordon saw you, he'd have you arrested for lewd behavior!"

"It's something I'll have to deal with, then," Batman replied. "Time is of the essence, Robin. We _have_ to catch Catwoman!"

Robin pushed Batman back against the lamppost. "Then I'll just have to hurry, won't I?" With that, he dropped to his knees, smiling as he came face to face with Batman's distended briefs.

"I don't think--" Batman started, but stopped the moment Robin cupped his erection. "Well, if you put it that way..."

"See, I just knew you'd see it the way I do, Batman," said Robin happily.

He made quick work of his partner's utility belt, letting it drop noisily on the pavement, then pulled down the Dark Knight's purple briefs and grey tights, all the way to his knees. Robin's eyes went a little wide at the sight of Batman's full, hard erection.

Clearly in awe, Robin slowly whispered, "Holy... _Batpole_ , Batman." He stuck his tongue out and licked a path from the base of Batman's cock, all the way to its tip.

"Oh, _fuck_ ," said Batman, in a deep throaty voice. He dropped a hand on Robin's head, stopping abruptly and groaning in annoyance as he looked down. Batman yanked the glove off his right hand and tossed it aside, then reached toward Robin again, now free to run his fingers through his partner's soft curls.

When Robin took him into his mouth fully, Batman's head dropped back against the lamppost with a dull thud. "Oh, _fuck_ yes," he cried.

Robin licked and sucked his partner expertly, reducing Batman to helpless moans and unintelligible curses. And then the Boy Wonder took him in even deeper, moving up and down his erection in a low, slow rhythm--up and down, and down and up again--earning every little bit of the moniker he'd inherited. He kept going in an long, slow rhythm, even when Batman's hand turned into a fist in his hair, pulling it tightly.

When he heard Batman suck in a sharp breath, hips bucking all of a sudden, Robin let him out of his mouth. "Come on," he encouraged as he closed his hand around his partner's cock, stroking and squeezing it almost furiously "Come for me, Batman."

It was just a short moment before Batman finally climaxed, spilling hot seed into Robin's open mouth, all over his chin and the hand that hadn't for one second stopped its sliding motions.

"Nice work, chum," said Batman in a hoarse voice, and he patted Robin lightly on the shoulder, looking down on him with a large, almost loopy smile.

Almost immediately, somewhere in the distance, someone shouted, "And cut! Excellent work everyone!" The set, which had previously been shrouded in darkness, was flooded with bright light.

Still panting, Eric pulled off his Batman cowl, letting it fall unceremoniously to the ground. He pulled his tights and briefs back up while Jeff still sat on the floor, wiping his face and chin with a towel someone had tossed him for that purpose. "Nice work," Eric said again, mockingly adding, " _chum_ ," to the statement. "This dialog is so awful!" he complained in a chuckle, extending a hand to his co-star and helping him to his feet.

As they walked off the set together, Eric wrapped an arm around Jeff's shoulders and in a whisper said, "Has anyone told you yet how great your ass looks in that costume? It's going to make for some really good footage, when I bend you over the hood of the Batmobile, later..."

"Gosh, Batman," Jeff said in the lively tone he'd adopted for his part. "I can't wait!"

/End.

**Author's Note:**

> if you haven't caught on just yet, yes, I set this in [](http://antumbral.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://antumbral.livejournal.com/)**antumbral** 's own porn star AU. *giggles* I couldn't help myself...!
> 
> And if you haven't any idea what I'm referring to, go [here](http://antumbral.livejournal.com/212657.html) and read it now. Seriously--you've been missing out!


End file.
